One of my favorite television shows from 1994-2008 was
ER. On the show my favorite character
was a doctor named, Dr. Mark Greene.
During the series, Dr. Greene develops an inoperable brain tumor. On a trip to Hawaii to connect with his
rebellious teenaged daughter, Rachel, he begins to experience physical symptoms
signaling the end of his struggle with the tumor is near. In his final scene he awakens to find Rachel
sitting watching him sleep. He smiles at
her, telling her with slurred speech that he was just dreaming of her. He then tells her that he was trying to think
of a piece of advice that every father should tell his child. In his final conversation with her, he tells
her to “Be Generous”. He follows that up
with explaining to “be generous with her
time, her love, and her life”. The
scene is quite moving and it has been etched in my memory since hearing. Be Generous.
Let me explain.
When I was first on my own, money was very, very tight. I lived 5 hours away from family. So, it wasn’t like I could ‘sponge’ off of my
parents. I didn’t know anyone when I
moved to Illinois so I was truly ‘on my own.’
There was no email, cell phones, texting, ATMs, debit cards (or in my
case, credit cards), just a weekly phone call and ‘snail’ mail. After paying my monthly ‘necessary’ expenses
– rent, school loan payment, car loan payment – there was little left from my
paycheck for anything else, namely food and clothing.
I worked at a small Christian publishing firm and most of
the people who worked there, and the people who I went to church with, knew how
little I was being paid. In ways
unbeknownst to me at the time, generosity was showered on me.
While I didn’t receive monetary gifts, I did receive
invitations to lunch where the hosts would send me home with generous leftovers
that I would eat for several days. Since
there were no laundry facilities where I lived, a family invited me over to do
my laundry at their home. While I was
there, they fed me and let me be part of their family. Or, the time I was moving between apartments
and got whiplash – yes, it is real and it is painful! I was instructed by the doctor not to lift
anything. Really? I was moving!
So my parents came to help me and, since my apartment and I were in
transition, we all stayed at the lovely home of someone at my church. With my parents and another family from my
church, the move was completed.
Maybe it was my naivety or my strong trust in God to take
care of me, but at the time, I never really stopped to think about their
generosity. It was just being part of a
community where generosity was poured out.
It was a way of life. The same
generosity that I had always known from the church in which I grew up was being
given to me.
So, let me fast forward to today. Here’s how ‘be generous with my time, love and life’ phrase plays out in my
life now.
Be Generous with your Time:
I have the Biblical gift of counseling/mentoring (this is
different than a professionally trained counselor/mentor). I’ve taken classes in listening and working
with people and mentoring fits my personality, how God designed me and the life
experiences that He planned or will plan for me. I don’t have a big list of women (clients)
that I meet with, nor do I charge to mentor people at this point. I do it out of generosity of my time. I take time out of my schedule to sit and
listen to the lives of these women and help them to hear the voice of God, help
them work out communication issues, or point out ‘lies’ that they tell
themselves, etc. The reward I get is
when I see them changing into the women God created them to be. I love to sit with clients and show them the
‘before’ and ‘after’ what God has done in their lives. This wouldn’t be possible if I wasn’t
generous with my time.
Be Generous with your Love:
This manifests in different ways, depending on the person and
their love language. Here’s an example
being generous with my love. Mr. Small
Town loves
when I make a dinner for him or when he comes home to a ‘picked up’ house. This definitely does NOT convey love to
me! However, since I love him and his
love language is acts of service, I do those things for him. Now, I might be running around picking up the
house or putting the vacuum away when he pulls into the garage, but I do
it. The dinner that I put on the table
might not be a gourmet meal, but it’s usually eatable. It’s the act of service – or attempt - that
conveys love to him. In turn, he listens
to me when I need to talk and process life.
He’s doing an act of service by shutting out the distractions, sitting
down with me and listening to me. Oh,
and after I’m done talking, he usually sums up everything in a few wise words
that makes sense of everything I talked about for the last hour or so! Now, it hasn’t always been this way, but
after almost 20 years of marriage, we’ve had plenty of opportunities to
practice.
Now, the Kid – who can talk for hours about washing machines
and fire alarms and who is wildly imaginative and creative – receives love by
wanting us to spend time with him. This
has translated into Mr. Small Town and I being able to name, replicate (using
various building materials) and know the features of several washing machines
and different fire alarms (even being able to distinguish some by alarm sounds!). I have stretched my imagination and
creativity beyond what I ever thought was possible. But in the end, being generous with our time translates
love to him.
Be Generous with your Life:
This goes beyond the realms or walls of my home. It extends to my neighbors or even to the
people I may or may not know.
It translates into volunteering in my son’s classroom where
the teacher may have me copying class handouts for hours.
It means that I get my neighbor’s baby girl and take her for
a walk during the ‘bewitching hour’ before dinner. The baby gets out and sometimes even takes
her scheduled ‘cat nap’ while her mom prepares dinner, does some work around
the house, or has some quiet time. Other
times my neighbor and I get to walk and talk together while watching her kids
and my kid play outside. I could just go
on my walk by myself or stay in the house and just let the kid play outside on
his own. But, I’m generous with my life
so that I can help her. (Oh, and while
getting my exercise, I get my ‘baby’ fix too!
So it’s a two way street of helping each other!)
It might mean working on this blog where I’m not earning any
money or getting anything in return.
It’s just me sharing what God has taught me and, prayerfully, it points
my readers to consider seeing life in a new way, a way that points them to a
deeper and more meaningful relationship with God.
In the Bible, God talks about being generous quite a
bit. In fact, Jesus told a story that is
often referred to as ‘The Good Samaritan”.
It’s a popular story of generosity and can be found in the Bible, the
book of Luke, chapter 25, verses 25-37.
The text tells about a man from Samaria who comes across a severely
wounded man along the side of the road.
The man could have easily passed by the wounded man. He was on a journey to get somewhere. Someone else could help the wounded man. But the man from Samaria stopped. Why did he stop? Because he was generous with his time, love, and
life.
So, what I’m talking about isn’t something that the writers
of ER came up with for a memorable scene.
They just put it in simple text to what God’s been saying for
years. Look beyond yourself. Be generous with your time, love, and
life.
In the Bible, the book of Titus, chapter 3, verses 5-7, it
shows us about God’s generous heart. It
says, ‘He (God) saved us, not because of the righteous things we have done
[like being generous], but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth
and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out generously through Jesus
Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become
heirs having the hope of eternal life.’
So, there you have. It
isn’t the acts of generosity that gets you into heaven. It’s about God being generous with mercy and
grace that He generously gave His Son. (Bible, John 3:16). He loved you so much that He made the free
gift of salvation available to everyone.
All you have to do is accept it.
So my friends, the next time you think of generosity I pray
that you see it in a different way. I
also pray that you will come to know and accept the generosity of God.
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