Anxiety

We have all experienced it at one time or another at various degrees and in different seasons in our life.  Sometimes anxiety can be a motivator in helping to achieve a goal, to start and complete a project, to prevent a negative outcome or to learn new skill.  However, anxiety can become a debilitating fear that often sends individuals into a tailspin of emotions that can result into physical symptoms.

At different seasons of my life I’ve been anxious - a stressful job, planning an event, or embarking on a new season of life.  However, living with high or chronic anxiety is a different story.  It's something that is difficult for me to understand. 

In my feeble efforts to support people with chronic or high anxiety, I often throw around Bible verses such as Philippians chapter 4 verses 6-7 that says,

 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

While this is a very important verse, I’ve learned that instead of helping the anxious person, I only made the person feel worse because they weren't trusting God enough to take away their anxiety.  Ugh! 

In my effort to be a more effective support to people that I come into contact with high anxiety, I 'googled' how to support someone with anxiety.  Here's what I found:

 

"What to Say When Someone is having an Anxiety Attack?"

 

1. Understanding and listening, without judgment, is the first step to helping someone through an anxiety or panic attack.
2. "Your fears are understandable."
3. "I am here for you."
4. "What would you like me to do to help?"
5. "This too shall pass."
6. "What strategies best help you when you are feeling anxious?"
7. "We can get through this together."

 http://www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/c/1443/155313/anxiety-attack

 

Recently I was able to put this new found list into practice.  An acquaintance of mine was dealing with a major change in her job that required an enormous training process under extreme stressful conditions.  (Not many people would be capable of this type of stress - yours truly included!)  

Since quitting was not an option for this friend, I desperately wanted to be a support.  As the individual began sharing the stress and emotions that she was experiencing I pulled out my handy dandy list and started going through the phrases.  It was a bit awkward but she appreciated my efforts to be supportive.  After the third and separate conversation about her situation, it was much smoother.  I was able to use my new 7 simple phrases more efficiently, along with prayer! 

As we were parting ways, she thanked me for hearing her.  For the first time she felt heard and understood instead of feeling shamed for her anxiety.  WOW!  What a wake up call for me!  I never realized that I was someone who would unknowingly shame a person for how God made them! 

This exercise put life into a new perspective for me.  I wondered how many other people with high anxiety are afraid to share their true feelings out of fear of being shamed - with me being one of the chief ‘shamers’.   What about the people who deal with ADD or ADHD? Or have high energy or a mental illness?  What about the perfectionists in my life? Just because a person is different than I am, is that wrong?  Should everyone be like me?  NO!

It hit home, once again, that God makes all kinds of individuals in order to accomplish His plan.  I’m glad my acquaintance is a high anxiety person.  God tailor made her and gave her the perfect job for her personality.  I see how her anxiety helps her accomplish things that I would never be able to do! 

Is there anyone in your life who deals with anxiety or other issues?  Could you be like me and unintentionally shaming them for how God created them?  We all have flaws – some are just more visible than others.  What if we just try to understand, accept, and support each other’s flaws without trying to change or shame each other.

Here’s to all my peeps who manage life with high anxiety and to those who want to support them!

 

The Small Town Girl