We can enjoy life no matter what the circumstances may be.

The words that we choose to speak have a tremendous impact on our level of joy.

 

- Joyce Meyer, 'Change your words, change your life'

 

 

 

 

 

Are you feeling the 'joy' lately?  Do you find that your joy level isn't quite what you've expected it to be now that it's December and only 2 weeks away from the most celebrated and joyous occasion of the year? 

  

Lots of things can impact our joy levels.  Believe me...my joy level hasn't been the best the past few weeks.  If fact I feel like I've been through a joy crusher instead of a joy infuser.  No, it's not because of rushing around getting ready for Christmas or having too high of expectations of Christmas.  It's just life.  Things that I have no control over and don't have anything to do with Christmas or the preparations that seem to be dragging my joy level down.  Can you relate?

 

Over the past month I've been reading to "The Kid" at bedtime in order to get him settled down for sleep.  One night, in my frustration for him to settle down, I quickly chose the book, "Heaven is For Real" that I had downloaded several years ago on my iPhone.  The book is about a 4 year old boy who went to heaven after surviving a ruptured appendix which just about took his life.  His father narrates the book and tells of the boy's experience while in heaven. To my wonder, 'The Kid' loved the book and it brought about some great conversations about heaven between us.  We were able to talk about his siblings that are in heaven waiting for us and how great it will be to go to heaven one day.  What a wonderful way to get my mind off the 'temporal' things that were frustrating me and focused more on eternal things. 

 

We quickly finished that book and downloaded another book entitled, 'Joni'.  My mom had read this book to our family back in the 1970's when it was first released.  I was about the same age as 'The Kid' when she read it, so I figured he could handle the content.  The book, written by Joni Eareckson Tada, details her experience of becoming a quadriplegic after a diving accident that happened in 1966.  Some of the material was pretty heavy for him so I skipped paragraphs where appropriate.  However, the part I read the other night resonated with me.

 

Joni, who was a new Christ follower at the time of her accident, began to question God's promises in the Bible as it related to her 'new life existence'.  She questioned the promise in the book of James that says, 'Consider it joy whenever you face trails of many kinds'.  How could she consider bedsores, laying in a Styker bed, not being able to do anything for herself for the rest of her life, pure joy?  Or the promise in Romans that says, 'We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him'.  What good was going to come out of being a helpless quadriplegic?
 

Well, since the book was written in the early 1970's, I know the 'rest of her story'.  God never chose to heal her - even though He easily could have!  Instead, for over 40+ years, she has had to rely on health care workers to bath her, change her catheters, brush her teeth, and comb her hair - you name it - she has to have it done for her - every single day of her life!  How has she been able to do this without growing bitter and angry at God? 

She chose to focus on God's promises to her throughout the Bible.  However, she will be the first to tell you that some days it is a battle to focus on those promises.  She gets frustrated and that's when she has to make conscience choices to focus on those promises and to remember that this life is just temporary.
 

As for the 'rest of her story'... she has gone on to write several books, paint and draw several artistic works, release a praise album, start a ministry called 'Joni and Friends', have a radio program, speak at several ministries and conferences, and so much more!  God has used her paralysis and her choice to focus on God's promises.  However, she is looking forward to the day when God calls her to heaven because God has promised her a new body for eternity!  Until then, she will live with her temporal body here on earth.

So, I looked at the circumstances in my life.  I, too, find myself wondering about if those promises in James and Romans apply to me.  I find myself focusing on my circumstances and less on what I know is true and eternal.  Some days I just have a difficult time seeing how these promises apply to my life. 

 

So, here's my new thought pattern:

 

I don't know how the circumstances in my life will turn out. In fact, I wonder if or how any good can or will come of it.  However, I do know that God's promises are true.  I'm choosing to retrain my thoughts to focus on God's promises rather than spending all of my mental energy focusing on my circumstances.

My goal is to choose to look at this circumstance as an opportunity for spiritual, emotional and personal growth instead of a joy crusher.  I choose to believe and claim the promises that God has given to me from the Bible.  Instead of saying, 'I don't like this!", "This isn't what I wanted!", or 'I can't do this!"  I choose to say, 'I don't know why you choose me Lord for these circumstances but I do know what You have promised to me.  With Your help, I choose to focus on eternal promises and Your strength to help and guide me amidst these circumstances."

 

So my friends, what is it that you are saying to yourself these days?  Is it something that crushes or dampens your joy level?  Maybe it's time to change your focus and concentrate on speaking God's truth in your life.  I'll be praying for you as you make these changes, and I appreciate prayers for me as I change my focus.

And with that my friends,

 

I wish you a JOYOUS Christmas. 

 

 

The Small Town Girl

 

 God's promises from the Bible:

• I cannot be separated from the Love of God. (Romans 8:35)
• I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
• I can find grace and mercy in the time of need. (Hebrews 4:6)
• I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)
• I am confident that the good work that God has begun in me will be perfected (Phillipians 1:6)
• I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13) 

 

 

 

Bible, Book of James, Chapter 1, verse 2 and following verses

Bible, Book of Romans, Chapter 8, verse 28 and following verses

Interruptions

Just when I think I have a week to myself to write blogs ... interruptions happen and my mind is focusing on anything but blogging! 

That's what my life has been for the past 2 weeks - an early Christmas celebration out of town, a sick child in the hospital, an unexpected cold ... I'm sure you have them too.

However, in the midst of all the interruptions in the past two weeks, not only do I know God is present in my life, but I can feel the sustaining prayers of those praying for my family.  It's a wonderful feeling of contentment and peace that only comes from truly knowing Who is in control. 

Praying that you too know that peace and contentment in the midst of life's interruptions.

Because of Jesus, we can....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/heismorethanenough

Image

 

After publishing the 'Slow to Anger' post, I was contacted by another blogger/speaker to see if she could feature my post on her blog/website.  I was elated!  Then she asked if I had a current photo of myself to go along with my post.  Ummm.... no.  I didn't. 

I knew this day would come.  I had to get a current photo of me for the blog.  A photo better than the current blurred photo that I took of myself with my iphone.  I had read about how important an on-line, blogger/speaker 'image' is crucial to how people 'see' you and/or take you serious.  In fact there are articles written about how to project the 'right' image to your reader audience and the importance of 'branding' your image.   So, I knew this day was coming. 

I'd love to tell you that the excitement of her email matched the excitement of getting my picture taken, but I would be lying.  It was more like the start of an internal panic - I didn't exactly hyperventilate but I wasn't jumping for joy.

About 3 weeks earlier I was part of a group photo that resulted in a 'less than flattering' image of me.  Ugh!  Was that what I really looked like?!?   (I had on one of my latest sewing projects -- it did NOT reflect a flattering image of me!!)  I wondered how much 'touching up' a photographer would have to do to help me!!

I had been avoiding being the subject of photos for awhile. I knew that I had not been taking very good care of myself.  I had been too wrapped up in 'the Kid's' life and making sure to meet other people's needs that I neglected take care of my needs for the past 3 years.  While I was taking better care of myself now, I didn't feel camera ready. 
 
So, I began a downward spiral spin of panic about getting my photo taken.
 
I'll spare you all the 'details' of the spiral.  However, the morning of the photo shoot wasn't pleasant or calm at all.  The Kid and I had a very, very rough start and by the time we reached his day camp, I was a far cry from the image that I wanted to project. (The ABC method of controlling my anger didn't work this particular morning!)  I only had enough time to drop him off and get to the store to find 'the' outfit that projected the right image.  Not only was he not cooperating, he was adding to my panic mode!
 
As I drove away from the camp - taking deep breaths and wiping away the tears, I felt the presence of God wrap His arms around me.  What had I done?  What was I doing?  I had listened to and relied on my own strength instead of asking God for strength. 
 
As I sat in the store's parking lot before going in, I sat and prayed.  I asked God to help me find the right outfit to project the image that He wanted me to portray.  "Lord, just use me for Your glory to point people to you.  Let them see Your image through and in me." 
 
Having a much more calm demeanor I entered the store. 
 
Funny thing is, I never found 'the' outfit!  Instead I had good time talking with the store clerks, grocery shopping for my family's dinner, and listening to praise/worship music.  The only new thing I bought was a white t-shirt from Old Navy - a staple in my wardrobe. 
 
Since the weather that day was 92 degrees F with 92% humidity - I knew I had to take some extra time so that my hairdo wouldn't go flat as soon as I walked outside!  I took the extra time to put the extra root pump plus in my wet hair and style it dry.  I even dragged out my curling iron to make the 'flip' more pronounced.  It was much more work than my usual routine but I had fun pampering myself in my air conditioned house as I listened to music.  A far cry from the mood I had been in earlier in the day!
 
I arrived at the photographers and had a great time during the photo shoot in her studio!  We did different poses with different scarves and hairstyles (pulled back is how you will usually find my hair!).  During the shoot I found out that the name of her business, Image 1:27 Photography, references a Bible verse found in Genesis, Chapter 1, verse 27.  'We are made in God's image!'  How cool!?!  Wasn't that the verse that I had prayed earlier in my day!?! Only God would do that!
 
When I got the photos back I was stunned.  I actually looked good!  Of course, I wondered how much touching up she had done so I asked for the untouched photos too.  I posted both below - the top photo is untouched.  
 
I LOVE the touched up photo - it looks like I had my makeup professionally done - but that's not what I look like every day.  As I looked at the untouched photo, I noticed my imperfections.  I have to admit, I like the lines around my eyes. They reflect all the tears, smiles and laughter that have been part of my life.  The redness and dark spots are from the impromptu bike rides or park adventures I've taken with The Kid where I didn't have sunscreen applied.  And the smile is the same one that was in my wedding photos, on the day The Kid's adoption papers were filed.  It's the same smile you'll see every time The Kid or Mr. Small Town wrap their arms around me, kiss me on the check and say, 'I love you' or 'Thank you for being you'. 
 
So my friends, that's my online blogger/speaker image.  An imperfect middle aged woman who doesn't always have the perfect hair or makeup.  A woman who loves God, her husband, and her kid.  A woman who relies on God to help her become the woman He wants her to be.  A woman who tries to see the positive in every situation, even if it takes some time to see it.  A woman who isn't a English or journalism major but still writes to share her humorous and real life stories with people she doesn't even know, in hopes of steering them towards a personal relationship with the God of the Bible.  And to her, that's the best, and only image, she wants to project.
 
Blessings to you my readers!
 
 

The Small Town Girl

 


 p.s.  I finally chose 'the' outfit that really projects who I am - an Old Navy t-shirt with one of my colorful scarves.  It defines my style and who I am.  In fact, if you invite me to speak at your event, you just might find me wearing it either in black or white, short or long sleeve depending on the season or ... whatever is clean that day.                 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's the photographer's Facebook page,  https://www.facebook.com/image127

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Small Town Girl Becky Graham on Facebook

If you would like to follow Small Town Girl on facebook, here's the address.






https://www.facebook.com/pages/Small-Town-Girl-Becky-Graham/459480480799143

The Sewing Machine



When Mr. Small Town asked me what I wanted for Christmas last year I excitedly told him that I wanted "a sewing machine."  He looked at me funny and asked, "Really?"

Now, I took sewing in 4-H and in Home Economics so I knew I could sew based on my training.  Plus, having a friend who had started a sewing business, got me interested in sewing again.  No, I wasn't going to start a business but I had enough confidence to believe that I could sew a few dresses for myself.  So yes, I wanted a sewing machine.

I researched what kind of machine I wanted based on my level of sewing and what I thought I would use it for.  And, after searching several stores and websites, I finally came upon the one I wanted.  I pushed the button and my sewing adventure began!

I was so excited when the big box arrived a few weeks before Christmas!  I decided to put the box near the Christmas tree and to wait until Christmas morning to open it.  Then my son brought home his tattered backpack.  It needed serious repairing.  Buy a new one or ... I could use my new sewing machine to fix it!  My first project - I was pumped!

After everyone was asleep, I carefully opened the box and got the machine all set up.  Everything was going great until I got to the automated thread feeder which wasn't as easy as the directions lead me to believe - one of the main reasons for buying this particular model!  I eventually had to 'Google' how to use it.  After a frustrating hour, I gave up, got out my 'readers' and put the thread through the tiny opening.  I pinned his backpack hole together and started sewing.  After several swipes back and forth, the backpack was finally put back together.  It wasn't professional looking at all but I was so proud of my work! I carefully put the machine back in the box and put it back near the tree anticipating Christmas morning.

Fast forward 2 days after Christmas and I began my first project - a sun dress for my upcoming trip to Florida in 10 days.  I picked out some beautiful material, a pattern which included a zipper, and headed home to start it.  Surely I could produce my dress in 10 days.

Bring a 'non detailed, out of the box thinker', I didn't pay attention to the instructions about how to lay out the pattern on the material.  It looked simple enough. However, the pattern looked much smaller than I felt I was, so I cut the tissue paper a bit bigger to accommodate all the Christmas cookies and treats I had been feasting on.  I pinned it together and eagerly started sewing the pieces together.

I was quickly reminded of a very important tool that I had used during my days in home economics - the seam remover.  I tore out several attempts but I kept preserving along with my goal and vision of me in my beautiful dress.  (Okay, I do admit that I had to have my friend's mother-in-law stop over to help me when I really got to a breaking point.)

The night before the trip I took out my partially finished dress to mark where to put the straps.  As I put it on, I was horrified how it fit!  I was 4 sizes too big!!  Mr. Small Town and the Kid came in to see it.  There I was in my beautiful dress, 4 sizes too big trying not to cry.  Being the great guy that he is, he just hugged me as I stood there in defeat.  He didn't say 'I told you so' or anything like that.  He just smiled and said he felt bad for me after all the hard work I had put into making it.  The Kid, well, he took a cue from his dad and gave me a hug.

The lesson I learned through this experience is that ....

Don't try to be someone you are not.  Celebrate who you are. 

They had seen how excited I was  in my quest to become a 'seamstress'.  They supported me but they know who I am.  They know that my past history with sewing has lead to disasters.  They know how I don't follow directions. They know I'm not a detailed oriented person.  But they supported me, even in my failure.

At first I was discouraged by my defeat as a seamstress.  But then God began to remind me of who He made me to be.  First of all, I'm not a detailed oriented person.  But God provided me with a husband who is.  I'm a cook who doesn't always follow the directions.  I often swap out ingredients or spices because the taste doesn't agree with my palette.  This isn't a quality that works when baking things.  Bakers like to follow exact directions in order not to have runny cookies or muffins!  But I've created some of our wonderful family favorites by adding a little bit of this or substituting another ingredient.  (Due to Mr. Small Town's request, I finally wrote most of my recipes down so I could duplicate it again with the same quality of flavor he likes.)

I don't always like to follow patterns and instructions - a quality I share with the Kid! Which means, I can make a washing machine or fire alarm out of any material that I have at my disposal. I haven't yet been able to find a 'kit' telling me how to make a washing machine made out of a bowl, a straw, a milk jug, and a battery.

I've learned that God made me just the way He wants me to be.  He brought Mr. Small Town into my life to balance out the qualities that I don't have.  He designed the Kid to be a perfect fit to me being his mother.  Can you imagine if we were all the same?!?

So, how did God design you?  Have you ever stopped to think about it?  How do you contribute to the family, church, organization where God's put you?

If you've never thought about it before, try doing it.  It might change your perspective on who you think you are, and who you really are.  And guess what....

You are perfectly designed, perfectly created,

perfectly placed where God wants you to be. 

If you don't think so ...  just ask Him.

The Small Town Girl

p.s.  I still have my sewing machine.  I recently dug it out to make some more summer dresses.  You can imagine the results.....!

Generous

One of my favorite television shows from 1994-2008 was ER.  On the show my favorite character was a doctor named, Dr. Mark Greene.  During the series, Dr. Greene develops an inoperable brain tumor.  On a trip to Hawaii to connect with his rebellious teenaged daughter, Rachel, he begins to experience physical symptoms signaling the end of his struggle with the tumor is near.  In his final scene he awakens to find Rachel sitting watching him sleep.  He smiles at her, telling her with slurred speech that he was just dreaming of her.  He then tells her that he was trying to think of a piece of advice that every father should tell his child.  In his final conversation with her, he tells her to “Be Generous”.  He follows that up with explaining to “be generous with her time, her love, and her life”.  The scene is quite moving and it has been etched in my memory since hearing.  Be Generous.

Let me explain.

When I was first on my own, money was very, very tight.  I lived 5 hours away from family.  So, it wasn’t like I could ‘sponge’ off of my parents.  I didn’t know anyone when I moved to Illinois so I was truly ‘on my own.’  There was no email, cell phones, texting, ATMs, debit cards (or in my case, credit cards), just a weekly phone call and ‘snail’ mail.  After paying my monthly ‘necessary’ expenses – rent, school loan payment, car loan payment – there was little left from my paycheck for anything else, namely food and clothing.

I worked at a small Christian publishing firm and most of the people who worked there, and the people who I went to church with, knew how little I was being paid.  In ways unbeknownst to me at the time, generosity was showered on me.

While I didn’t receive monetary gifts, I did receive invitations to lunch where the hosts would send me home with generous leftovers that I would eat for several days.  Since there were no laundry facilities where I lived, a family invited me over to do my laundry at their home.  While I was there, they fed me and let me be part of their family.  Or, the time I was moving between apartments and got whiplash – yes, it is real and it is painful!  I was instructed by the doctor not to lift anything.  Really?  I was moving!  So my parents came to help me and, since my apartment and I were in transition, we all stayed at the lovely home of someone at my church.  With my parents and another family from my church, the move was completed.

Maybe it was my naivety or my strong trust in God to take care of me, but at the time, I never really stopped to think about their generosity.  It was just being part of a community where generosity was poured out.  It was a way of life.  The same generosity that I had always known from the church in which I grew up was being given to me.

So, let me fast forward to today.  Here’s how ‘be generous with my time, love and life’ phrase plays out in my life now.

Be Generous with your Time:

I have the Biblical gift of counseling/mentoring (this is different than a professionally trained counselor/mentor).  I’ve taken classes in listening and working with people and mentoring fits my personality, how God designed me and the life experiences that He planned or will plan for me.  I don’t have a big list of women (clients) that I meet with, nor do I charge to mentor people at this point.  I do it out of generosity of my time.  I take time out of my schedule to sit and listen to the lives of these women and help them to hear the voice of God, help them work out communication issues, or point out ‘lies’ that they tell themselves, etc.  The reward I get is when I see them changing into the women God created them to be.  I love to sit with clients and show them the ‘before’ and ‘after’ what God has done in their lives.  This wouldn’t be possible if I wasn’t generous with my time.

Be Generous with your Love:

This manifests in different ways, depending on the person and their love language.  Here’s an example being generous with my love.  Mr. Small Town loves when I make a dinner for him or when he comes home to a ‘picked up’ house.  This definitely does NOT convey love to me!  However, since I love him and his love language is acts of service, I do those things for him.  Now, I might be running around picking up the house or putting the vacuum away when he pulls into the garage, but I do it.  The dinner that I put on the table might not be a gourmet meal, but it’s usually eatable.  It’s the act of service – or attempt - that conveys love to him.  In turn, he listens to me when I need to talk and process life.  He’s doing an act of service by shutting out the distractions, sitting down with me and listening to me.  Oh, and after I’m done talking, he usually sums up everything in a few wise words that makes sense of everything I talked about for the last hour or so!  Now, it hasn’t always been this way, but after almost 20 years of marriage, we’ve had plenty of opportunities to practice. 

Now, the Kid – who can talk for hours about washing machines and fire alarms and who is wildly imaginative and creative – receives love by wanting us to spend time with him.  This has translated into Mr. Small Town and I being able to name, replicate (using various building materials) and know the features of several washing machines and different fire alarms (even being able to distinguish some by alarm sounds!).  I have stretched my imagination and creativity beyond what I ever thought was possible.  But in the end, being generous with our time translates love to him. 

Be Generous with your Life:

This goes beyond the realms or walls of my home.  It extends to my neighbors or even to the people I may or may not know. 

It translates into volunteering in my son’s classroom where the teacher may have me copying class handouts for hours. 

It means that I get my neighbor’s baby girl and take her for a walk during the ‘bewitching hour’ before dinner.  The baby gets out and sometimes even takes her scheduled ‘cat nap’ while her mom prepares dinner, does some work around the house, or has some quiet time.  Other times my neighbor and I get to walk and talk together while watching her kids and my kid play outside.  I could just go on my walk by myself or stay in the house and just let the kid play outside on his own.  But, I’m generous with my life so that I can help her.  (Oh, and while getting my exercise, I get my ‘baby’ fix too!  So it’s a two way street of helping each other!) 

It might mean working on this blog where I’m not earning any money or getting anything in return.  It’s just me sharing what God has taught me and, prayerfully, it points my readers to consider seeing life in a new way, a way that points them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God.

In the Bible, God talks about being generous quite a bit.  In fact, Jesus told a story that is often referred to as ‘The Good Samaritan”.  It’s a popular story of generosity and can be found in the Bible, the book of Luke, chapter 25, verses 25-37.  The text tells about a man from Samaria who comes across a severely wounded man along the side of the road.  The man could have easily passed by the wounded man.  He was on a journey to get somewhere.  Someone else could help the wounded man.  But the man from Samaria stopped.  Why did he stop?  Because he was generous with his time, love, and life.

So, what I’m talking about isn’t something that the writers of ER came up with for a memorable scene.  They just put it in simple text to what God’s been saying for years.  Look beyond yourself.  Be generous with your time, love, and life.   

In the Bible, the book of Titus, chapter 3, verses 5-7, it shows us about God’s generous heart.  It says, ‘He (God) saved us, not because of the righteous things we have done [like being generous], but because of His mercy.  He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.’ 

So, there you have.  It isn’t the acts of generosity that gets you into heaven.  It’s about God being generous with mercy and grace that He generously gave His Son. (Bible, John 3:16).  He loved you so much that He made the free gift of salvation available to everyone.  All you have to do is accept it.

So my friends, the next time you think of generosity I pray that you see it in a different way.  I also pray that you will come to know and accept the generosity of God.

The Small Town Girl