High Heels

 

  

While on a recent "browsing" trip to DSW, I happened to notice these shoes (see the above photo) on another woman.  She was trying them on and I commented about how pretty they were but I could never wear them.  I remarked that I tended to stay away from high heels.  She said "Nonsense!" and encouraged me to try them on.  I found my size and tried them on.  As I was looking in the mirror I started to feel different.  A bit taller.  A bit more sophisticated. 

 

She noticed how much I liked them and told me that I should buy them.  (No, she wasn't the sales lady!)  As she made her way to another aisle, she left me standing there debating on whether or not I should buy them.  So, I carried them around the store debating.  I even posted a picture on Facebook asking if I should buy them -- which to my amazement, everyone said YES!  So, I did -- justifying that I could wear them when I went out for date night with Mr. Small Town. 

 

Later that evening while I was talking about my day with Mr. Small Town, I showed him my post on Facebook.  He replied, "I hope you didn't buy those!  Those are 'ridiculous'! Why would anyone wear a shoe that puts their foot like that?"  I replied, "Um....I did."

Feeling intimidated by the high heels, I left them in the box in the bag for a couple of days.  Sunday came and I felt a tugging towards the bag.  The practical side of me though about just returning.  They weren't me.   But in a wild moment, I decided to get them out and wear them to church.   Once I wore them, I couldn't return them.  I committed myself to keeping the shoes!

I have to admit, I was very nervous about walking in them.  It had been several years since I've had shoes like this and I wasn't sure if I remembered how to walk in them. As I entered the building, I immediately heard several compliments about my shoes from several women!  My heart was delighted and I held my head a bit higher knowing I was pulling it off!  It was slow going but I eventually made it into my seat without tripping or falling over.    However, halfway through the worship part of the service, I decided to sit down.  I didn't want to chance fate plus, the Kid was beside me.

I made it through all the service, picked up the Kid from his class, and went home where I promptly took them off.  I had to admit, my calves were hurting.  (I think I need to tone up my abs too if I continue to wear them!)  And they have been sitting there at that place for 3 days now.  I don't know why I haven't moved them.  Maybe it's because I don't want to put them away along with my 'nerve' to wear them again.  Or maybe I've kept them there as a reminder of who I was before the Kid came along and changed my life.

Whatever it is, I feel like the shoes took me back to a time where wearing high heels was an everyday occurrence.  When I working in the business world wearing suits and heels every day, for at least 10 hours a day,6 days a week.  Where I had more suits, hose, and heels then casual clothing.  When I 'dressed' for church instead of my usual casual attire. 

You see, in the first 2 years of the Kid's life, I still dressed up.  I'd have full hair, makeup, nails, and a smart looking outfit every day.  But eventually, it went by the wayside.  I can remember how it started.  I would be looking great - hair and makeup done, nice outfit, cute shoes - and then take the Kid to the park.  Within 10 minutes of being there, I looked a wreck.  Sweat would pour out of me as I was busy chasing the Kid, then 2 years old.  With the sweat, my hair would lose all the curl and end up back in a ponytail.  To top it off, I had two footprints on my shirt from pushing the Kid on the swing.  (Every time I went to put him in the baby swing, his two feet knew where to go!)  Then there was the other time when the Kid and I were walking through the parking lot at church, me wearing stylish heels and a dress, holding onto the Kid's hand.  He pulled one direction and I lost my footing.  I went down in such a manner that several people had to help me up and catch the Kid as he ran away in the direction he wanted to go. 

(The Kid went from crawling to running and somehow missed the walking stage.  We often joke about the Kid going to the Olympics one day because he runs everywhere he goes.  I think he is in actual pain if he has to walk!) 

 It was during this time that I also developed severe hip pain from carrying a heavy kid and diaper bag.  When the chiropractor at that time saw me, he told me to get rid of the shoes.   So, I adopted a new style, whether I liked it or not.

But buying these shoes got me thinking about how much I've given up or 'sacrificed' for being a mother to the Kid.  But as I look back, I wouldn't have had it any other way.  Oh, I may complain and sometimes I want to go back to the pre-Kid life, but it's not who I am any more.  I'm better.  I've matured.  I've seen past myself.  I've put someone else's needs before my own.  I've been willing to give up certain things in order to bring out the best in the Kid.  It's not about me anymore.  It's about this Kid.  This incredible gift that God's give to me and Mr. Small Town.  It's about the wild journey God's has put me on with this Kid.  It's about what God has taught me as I parent this Kid.   And if I had to give up wearing heels for a few years, that's okay.  I know it's only temporary.  The Kid will grow up. The trips to the park will eventually stop.  He'll start running track or cross country at school and I won't have to run after him anymore.  I'll buy new shoes.  I'll get a better wardrobe. I'll get the perfect haircut that won't lose its curl in the heat.  But nothing can take away the time and memories or 'sacrifices' that I've made as a mother.  And that truly is better than any outfit or high heels that I could ever buy.

So in my quiet time ... God brought me another word picture. 
 
He reminded me that there was Someone else who gave up a great life for the sacrifice of others.  Jesus. 

You see, Jesus was in heaven with God enjoying quite the 'good life'.  But, He gave up that glorious life to come to the 'not so good' earth.  In heaven, Jesus had it really, really good.  But on earth He was common, poor, ridiculed and eventually killed.  So, why would He give up the good life?  Love. 

The Bible tells that God loved us that Jesus gave up his great life so that He could become our way to God. 

As the Bible tells us, 3 days after His death, He rose from the dead and then eventually went back to His 'pre-life' in heaven.  How great is that!!  However, even through He is in heaven, He still has the scars from His sacrifice.  But, if you ask him, He'd say it was worth it all.  I imagine that when He sees all the people in heaven and earth who have decided to accept the free gift of salvation because of His sacrifice --- the pain and sacrifice was worth it.

So, you see, this encounter with my new high heels wasn't just about feeling pretty or remembering my pre-Kid life.  It's really about sacrificial love.  The kind of love a mom, and Jesus', gives.   

And with that my friends, I'm off to practice walking in my new shoes. 

The Small Town Girl

 







 

(1)  The Bible, Book of John, chapter 3, verse 16
(2)  The Bible, Book of John, chapter 8, verse 42
(3)  The Bible, Book of John, chapter 14, verse 6 
(4)  The Bible, Book of Luke, chapter 24, verses 6-8